As you may have seen from a previous post, we spent last weekend in Moab. And let me tell you, it was fabulous! We rented a great condo that we shared with my sister, her family and my mom. Which is totally the way to go if you’re choosing between a hotel room and a vacation home/condo, by the way. We had a pool, a kitchen where we shared yummy food and a TV to veg out in front of after our long days in the sun.
The vacation really was ideal. I think someone was on our side, because it really could have had some major road bumps. My family is dysfunctional in many ways and anything could have happened. In fact, our first day at the pool was headed down dysfunction junction when my mom made one of her inappropriate comments to a group of girls. It happened to be overcast when my mom got to the pool and the water was really cold, so she wanted to get in the hot tub. Naturally. A group of girls had the same idea though and hopped in first. It is a public hot tub and therefore anyone has the right to use the hot tub, but for some reason my mom thinks differently about this kind of situation. So, in her loudest voice she says, “Well, I was going to get in the hot tub but some people had to snarff it.” Yes, she used the word snarff. And yes she said that to girls that were no older than 14. So not cool.
Don’t worry though, Mom totally redeemed herself the following day when we abandoned her in the 95 degree heat for a solid 5 hours. Ok, we didn’t actually abandon her. She did ask to be dropped off on Main Street to do some shopping while the rest of us went river rafting. We approximated our river trip to be like 3 hours tops though. Plus, those of us that had cell phones had no reception and the rest of us were retarded and left our phones at the condo (yes, I was one of the latter). With no way to call, I was sure she would be ridiculously worried and that there would be an extra dose of loud sighs. Instead she was cool as a cucumber. She simply smiled when we finally met up. Yeah, smiled. She was like, “Well, I just figured I’d start walking back to the condo. I was starting to get a little worried about you guys, but I was really just worried I’d be completed fried by the time I made it back. And then I would be peeling for weeks.” That’s right, the sunburn was her only concern.
Since when did she get so calm? I would have been worried sick, imagining that the worst had happened. I probably would have been found curled up in the fetal position on the side of the road rocking back and forth. Then, my worry and sadness would have turned into anger. Of course, Rob knows exactly how I am and knows this is how I would have reacted. Which is why he made a huge point of telling my mom how cool she was for being, well, cool about the whole thing. He kept saying, “Mom, you’re like the coolest person on the planet right now.”
I will admit it; I totally agree with Rob. She absolutely passed the cool test. This coolness definitely added to an awesome trip and probably made her a better person too. Ok, maybe that’s going a bit too far, but go Mom!