Last night Rob and I went to a class at REI about bike touring. We’ve always wanted to do some sort of tour on our bikes. For me, I envision a tour where we ride from campground (or motel if we really want some luxury) to campground where we can shower each night. Listen, I’ve done backpacking trips that last a week without a shower, but it’s different when you’re dealing with serious butt sweat from sitting on a bike all day long. It’s no joke. The presenter repeated several times that you need to “take care of your butt.”
Anyway, as we were sitting in the class I realized that almost every person in the room was wearing Tevas. And I was like, holy shit, these people are so living up to the REI stereotype. You know the one; doesn’t give a shit about their toenails, wouldn’t dream of wearing makeup, owns at least two pairs of TEVAS, gets noticeably angry when talking about RV’s ruining all the campgrounds. And speaking of toenails, one dude had at least three black ones. I didn’t want to look at them and yet I had to keep stealing a glance, each time feeling more and more queasy. As I looked around the room, I almost felt guilty for being an REI member and not owning a pair of this REI shopper staple. I did the whole Birkenstock thing though and I still have nightmares about it.