Party Gone Wrong?

My sweet, loving, hot as hell husband has finally caved and is letting me replace the carpet in the basement.  Woot, woot!  I’ve been working on him for a very, very long time, so this is definitely something to celebrate.  When this update is done, I’m sure Rob will want to have people over (he loves to have people over).  And that is totally fine with me as long as it doesn’t get out of hand.  Let me give you an example…

About every other year Rob and I throw a wine tasting/winter solstice party.  We don’t know a lot about wine, but we know we like to drink it, as do many of our friends, so it works well.  Anyway, Rob and I have the same debate each time we throw one of these shin digs.  Personally, I prefer a more intimate gathering with close family and friends.  Rob likes the rager.  He won’t call it a rager, but it’s a rager.  Ass load of people plus ass load of alcohol = rager.  So, we try to compromise, but somehow there end up being a lot of people jammed into our home.  Right now you might be asking, so what’s the problem? The problem is that while cleaning up the last party, I found HUMAN POOP on the floor of the basement bathroom.  I am not kidding people.  I noticed something small and brown on the floor next to the toilet and thought, maybe I should get a tissue to pick up this unknown object. God, I’m smart.  If I had touched that nugget with my bare hands, I would absolutely have had some DNA testing done.  Which means the culprit would not only be banned from our home but also publicly scorned (I’d figure out a way).  You don’t drop a god damn piece of crap on someone’s bathroom floor (well, not someone you like anyway) and not clean it up!  Needless to say, we never did solve the mystery.  We asked a few folks, but what’s the point?  No one is going to admit that oh yeah, I forgot to sit on the toilet when taking a dump that night. I have my suspicions though.

I rest my case.  I’m still putting in the carpet though.  Oh, and I will also remind Rob about the poop incident when he wants to invite half the state of Utah.

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