Holy shit! I haven’t written a blog since January! I apologize for the hole I’ve created in your life. I mean you have missed it, right? You probably lie awake at night thinking, why hasn’t she written? Doesn’t she know that I live for her complaints and strange stories? Ok, I know this is not true. But wouldn’t it be cool if it were? I would be all like, “I have arrived!”
So, I’m back and I’ve come equipped with dysfunction, humor and whatever else I feel like talking about.
Dysfunction is, of course, alive and well in my family. And you know what? I welcome it. If nothing else, it gives me something to blog about. I know that every family has their share of dysfunction, but I have shit that would put others’ stories to shame. Those stories are sitting in my “drafts” at the moment, however, because I’m not quite ready to open that bag. Soon though… soon.
What I will share is that my grandparents now have three of their five children living with them. It just recently grew from two (one of which is my mom) to three when my uncle moved here from Idaho. One big happy family, right? Not exactly. Most weeks my grandma calls me with one of the following: 1) Asking if I know where my 55 year old mother is because she hasn’t heard from her all day, 2) Telling me that my mom never talks to her and that my aunt is being rude or 3) Asking me to intervene in some matter that has nothing to do with me and then saying “Fine, I’ll just be the bad guy” when I decline. Listen, if you have a connection with TLC or one of the other stations that loves reality shows, let me know. Putting cameras in this house would be nothing short of entertaining. Hoarders has nothing on these people.
Enough about the communal living arrangements. Let’s talk about some of the other weirdos in the world. There are lots of them at the gym. Maybe weirdos isn’t the right word. Different. Yes, different. Like the girl who was pointing to herself in the mirror and mouthing the words to the music on her ipod as if there weren’t a person within a 5 mile radius. Whatever gets you pumped up, eh? I’m actually jealous because she obviously doesn’t give a shit what people think about her. That or she forgot where she was.
I’m also quite entertained by the lady that rides the exercise bike in her slacks and button-up dress shirt. Personally I would be sweating like a banshee if I wore that to workout. Quick way to lose water weight, I guess.
Finally, the weather sucks. If you live in Utah, you already know this. If you don’t live in Utah, lucky you. Have I mentioned that I prefer sunshine? Well, I prefer the sunshine.