This last week it’s come to my attention that there are too many people in this world. And most of these people really bug me. I realize in the great valley of Salt Lake that we’re not jamming people in like they do in New York City, but there are people everywhere! Part of the problem is that we’re trying to squeeze a bunch of people into the same space at one time. The other part of the problem is that most of these people are idiots. Hold on, I can back it up with cold hard facts.
The other night my sister, her two kids and I ventured out to the Festival of Trees. This is an event that takes place every year to benefit Primary Children’s Hospital. People decorate really cool trees (and gingerbread houses!), put them on display for others to see and then the trees are purchased by people with more money than me. All proceeds go to the amazing hospital; the hospital my niece Stevie has spent far too much time in. Anyway, it’s a great cause, but it’s also a major log jam of people trying to get a look at the trees. Between the strollers, wheelchairs and dumb people, it’s too much. Oh and the parking! Two different people were trying to get our parking spot when we left, which caused a line of about six cars behind each of them. My sister has serious driving skills in her big rig, because honest to God, I would have hit at least three vehicles on my way out of that spot. Actually, if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t have attempted to get out.
Then yesterday I made the Costco trip. I do love Costco, and I felt that a Thursday afternoon would be safe. Nope. People everywhere! And what is it with people waiting in line for a god damned sample! Move out of the way and I will buy you a whole box of those donuts! It is not worth jamming up the entire aisle. The problem, I think, is that people have no awareness of other people also shopping. If they did, they wouldn’t stop in the middle of a walkway. Would they?!
Listen, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I do all that stuff too. I don’t though. I am highly aware of my surroundings at all times and therefore am courteous of people around me. I just sigh a lot and say things under my breath like, “Are you kidding me right now?” You can thank my mother for this learned habit.
In the spirit of the holiday season, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY! Oh, and kindly consider adoption. You know, to help with the too many people in the world problem. Quick detour story about adoption, if you don’t mind. My nephew has decided it would be really cool to have a brother. So, he asked my sister if they could adopt one for him. My sister was like, “Well, your sister has a lot of needs (holy understatement!).” She was telling me about this in the car when my nephew yelled from the backseat, “Hey Mom, if we adopted a brother, Dad would be really mad if he found out.” Yes, yes he would.