Category Archives: love

Reflection

I’m in kind of a reflective mood lately.  Maybe it’s the time of year, maybe it’s the doings of my therapist (yes, I have one) or maybe I’m just getting old.  Whatever the reason, I’m happy about it.  In fact, I want to actively spend more time reflecting.  It doesn’t always need to be about something big.  Small things matter too, people. So, I’ve been reflecting on the last couple of weeks and I’ve come up with my “learning list.”

Bowel movements make everyone feel better –

In this case I’m referring to my dog’s bowel movements, but I do think (and know thanks to Dr. Oz) that they are important for everyone.  Jack managed to get one of his toenails ripped off last Sunday, which has turned him into a total gimp.  Before we took him to the vet to get him hooked up with some pain meds, the poor little dude didn’t want to do much of anything.  Which meant no walks.  Walks are when Jack poops, so no walks meant no pooping.  We tried and tried to get him to just go in the backyard but he would just stare at us and eventually sit down in the snow. On Tuesday he basically pulled Rob out the door to walk, and thank God, because he took a massive dump.  A dump which we celebrated.

Spending time with someone you love is therapeutic – 

My sister, Jessica, has the most challenging life of anyone I know.  Having a sick child with difficult behavior issues (this is an understatement) requiring 24-hour supervision would send most people to the nuthouse immediately.  Not Jess.  Nope. She’s a warrior.  And despite her crazy life, she manages to listen to my problems, support me and make me smile.

Playing and laughing with my nephew brings incredible joy –

Dylan, my 9-year-old nephew, and I don’t get to spend a lot of time together.  When I’m at their house, I’m usually watching his sister (the one requiring 24-hour supervision).  That and he doesn’t like me telling him what to do, so we clash a lot of the time.  Last week my sister had an appointment and Stevie was asleep, so Dylan and I actually got to play.  And it was so fun!  I always have stories to tell after I hang with Dyl.  This time he told me about a deaf kid in his gymnastics class, so I was like, “Oh, that’s cool.  Maybe you can learn some sign language.”  Dylan responded by telling me that he already does sign language to the kid and then proceeded to flash me some gang sign to prove it.  Pure awesome right there.

So there you have it.  Don’t worry, these sappy posts won’t continue.  I’ve got plenty of negative, sarcastic script just waiting to be written.

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Marriage

Rob and I have been married just over 8 years, together for a little over 10.  That’s a long time, right?  Right.  And if I’m being honest, I would say that it’s been a good run.  Wait, that sounded like an end.  Not what I meant.  We’re still running and it’s still good. Marriage is a lot of work though y’all.  And I think like most marriages, ours goes through phases.  Phases where we really dig each other and phases where we annoy the shit out of each other.  Because we really like each other (and love too, but like is really important), I decided we should try to pin down what it is that really annoys the other person and do our best to stop the behavior.

So, I made a list.  I’m a list maker.  I make lists everyday.  The thing about this list is that we won’t be crossing things off, which is what I really enjoy about list making.  Instead, the list is to serve as a reminder of the things we’re working on. We each have our own list since we have different things that make the other person want to throw sharp objects, but we also have things that overlap.

Rob’s list includes things like volume control, annoying noises and being glued to his iPad or computer. Minor, right?  Sure, but when you’re laying in bed winding down for the night, and your spouse decides to say something at a ridiculous volume, it’s not cool.  It really bugs me, actually.  There are even certain names or words I’ll avoid saying because for some reason when he hears these words he wants to scream them.  For example, a guy that works for our brother-in-law is named Armando.  Great name to yell apparently.  So I’m like, “Armando asked how you were today.”  And then Rob is like, “ARRRRRMAAAANDO!”  Ugh.  The ironic thing is that when he’s ready to go to sleep he will freak out at the slightest noise.  It’s not uncommon for him to yell, “Babe, you have a whistly booger.”  The cool thing now is that when he starts making his weird, obnoxious noises, I can say, “Uhhh… the list.” So far it’s working.

My list is more about giving Rob the “green light.”  In other words, he wants me to be 100% on board with him going out with his friends, doing really long bike rides, etc.  It’s not that I don’t want him to, I just want a little more notice.  At the same time, I know he likes that spontaneity, so I’m working on being OK with it.  That and not calling him things like “Doo Da” (a nickname he’s not fond of) or ass wipe.  I know, I know, it sounds terrible, but I swear like a sailor, so it’s not really that bad. Ok, it’s kind of bad.  Again, I’m working on it!

On our joint list are things like finding more things to do together as a couple.  What do people do anyway?  I mean I like what we do for our date nights (dinner at one of our favorite restaurants), watch as many Breaking Bad episodes, The Daily Show or Colbert Report before we start to fall asleep.  Sometimes we get crazy and go bowling!  What does everyone else do?

So that’s where we’re at.  Rob is really pretty great, I know, so I’m totally going to kick ass at my side of the list.  Yeah, it’s on!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

This will not be a mushy post.  Valentine’s Day was definitely cooler as a kid.  I mean I am not anti-Valentine’s by any means.  Rob and I exchange cards and make a nice dinner at home, but I just think it’s silly that people feel obligated to do the whole flower/chocolate/jewelry/god awful stuffed animal thing just because Cupid said so. Was it Cupid?  I don’t know.

Anyway, as a kid, you got to make Valentine’s boxes!  Of course mine always sucked, but it was still so fun.  Making cards for your entire class and carefully selecting the conversation hearts so no one got the wrong idea… or someone got the right idea.  A few years back my sisters, stepdaughter and I decided what the hell, we can still make boxes!  So we did.  The only problem was no one put any Valentine’s cards in them.  Minor detail.

Jack clearly doesn’t understand that today is a holiday about love.  If he did, he wouldn’t have rolled in dog poop.  Why must they do this?  I think he has a bit of a poop obsession lately.  I caught him with a piece in his mouth today (he dropped it), and then he came inside later with it all over his neck.  Hello, I am not feeling the love, Jack!  Maybe I can sweet talk Rob into giving him a bath.  You know, “Sweetie, since it’s Valentine’s Day….”

However you celebrate or don’t celebrate today, at least eat some chocolate.  You do have an excuse after all!

To Togetherness!

Our good friends Chris and Pam were married this weekend in Moab, Utah.  And I’m not talking your traditional walk down the aisle, say “I do” wedding.  Although I have nothing against traditional weddings, this ceremony kicked ass.  It was magical, really.  The setting was beautiful, the words spoken were beautiful and the feeling felt was beautiful.  That’s what I like to call a triple beautiful threat.  Congratulations to this amazing couple!