Rob and I have been married just over 8 years, together for a little over 10. That’s a long time, right? Right. And if I’m being honest, I would say that it’s been a good run. Wait, that sounded like an end. Not what I meant. We’re still running and it’s still good. Marriage is a lot of work though y’all. And I think like most marriages, ours goes through phases. Phases where we really dig each other and phases where we annoy the shit out of each other. Because we really like each other (and love too, but like is really important), I decided we should try to pin down what it is that really annoys the other person and do our best to stop the behavior.
So, I made a list. I’m a list maker. I make lists everyday. The thing about this list is that we won’t be crossing things off, which is what I really enjoy about list making. Instead, the list is to serve as a reminder of the things we’re working on. We each have our own list since we have different things that make the other person want to throw sharp objects, but we also have things that overlap.
Rob’s list includes things like volume control, annoying noises and being glued to his iPad or computer. Minor, right? Sure, but when you’re laying in bed winding down for the night, and your spouse decides to say something at a ridiculous volume, it’s not cool. It really bugs me, actually. There are even certain names or words I’ll avoid saying because for some reason when he hears these words he wants to scream them. For example, a guy that works for our brother-in-law is named Armando. Great name to yell apparently. So I’m like, “Armando asked how you were today.” And then Rob is like, “ARRRRRMAAAANDO!” Ugh. The ironic thing is that when he’s ready to go to sleep he will freak out at the slightest noise. It’s not uncommon for him to yell, “Babe, you have a whistly booger.” The cool thing now is that when he starts making his weird, obnoxious noises, I can say, “Uhhh… the list.” So far it’s working.
My list is more about giving Rob the “green light.” In other words, he wants me to be 100% on board with him going out with his friends, doing really long bike rides, etc. It’s not that I don’t want him to, I just want a little more notice. At the same time, I know he likes that spontaneity, so I’m working on being OK with it. That and not calling him things like “Doo Da” (a nickname he’s not fond of) or ass wipe. I know, I know, it sounds terrible, but I swear like a sailor, so it’s not really that bad. Ok, it’s kind of bad. Again, I’m working on it!
On our joint list are things like finding more things to do together as a couple. What do people do anyway? I mean I like what we do for our date nights (dinner at one of our favorite restaurants), watch as many Breaking Bad episodes, The Daily Show or Colbert Report before we start to fall asleep. Sometimes we get crazy and go bowling! What does everyone else do?
So that’s where we’re at. Rob is really pretty great, I know, so I’m totally going to kick ass at my side of the list. Yeah, it’s on!