You know what’s not good? When years start mixing together. Like 2010 becomes 2011, becomes 2012 and you pretty much remember jack shit about any of it. Or, you remember that it maybe wasn’t as great as it should have been. Which is ridiculous if you’re me, because I have so much to be happy about; so much others would look at and say, “Holy shit woman, your life is pretty sweet.”
I’m totally not a New Year’s Resolutions person, but I do want to make a concentrated effort to simply enjoy life more. I’m sick of being worried and anxious and nervous. Yes, these are real and legitimate feelings, but I have to work through them, right? RIGHT?! I will never be that go-with-the-flow, completely spontaneous person, but I think I can make some tweaks and adjustments here and there. I can be fun goddammit!
Life is hard. There’s a lot to navigate, and it’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget about the big picture. It’s easy to worry yourself sick (me) and stop doing the things that bring joy and fulfillment into your life. You know, because you have stuff to get done! There are responsibilities and obligations; things that MUST be done. Oh wait, maybe they don’t have to be done. Not right now. Not today.
I’m going to surround myself with people that help me remember this. People that are positive and can remind me that it’s not the end of the world if you have someone over and your dog takes a nip at them (God, I’m sick of worrying about this). I want to spend time with the people that I love. Quality time. Instead of thinking ahead to tomorrow or even the end of the evening, I want to enjoy the moment I’m in.
There are people in my life that have far greater challenges than me (I’m looking at you, sister). I want to help these people more, make them laugh and help them find some peace in their day. I want to let go of anger and resentment and… OK, this might be too much. I might be trying to take on more than I can handle. Maybe I can just take it day by day. Today is a new day, and for that I am grateful.
Happy New Year everyone!