Yesterday was my bestie’s (best friend’s) birthday. Britt has been my best friend since the sixth grade. And let me tell you, we have stories to tell! I basically lived at her house for a number of years and can even recall a time when her dad asked if I was ever going to go home. Her dad loves me, but he was probably like what in the hell is wrong with her parents? Don’t worry, he figured it out eventually. In the meantime, I made sure that Glen (Britt’s dad) knew just how much I loved being at their house.
One year for his birthday, Britt and I had the clever idea to put on a little performance. (Honestly, I cannot believe I’m telling you this story). We were in the seventh grade at the time, and for some reason, it never crossed our minds that putting bikinis on, layering clothes on top and then singing a sexy version of happy birthday while we took said layer of clothes off would be at all inappropriate. Holy shit, what were we thinking?!
I was this skinny little thing with no boobs (oh wait, the no boobs parts still applies), so her older sister’s bikini that I had on was like falling off while we sang our written lyrics of, “Happy Birthday to you big boy… You know you’re looking awfully hot tonight.” I know! Can you believe this? I am not making this up at all, unfortunately.
Every time I think back to that performance (yes, I’m calling it a performance), I laugh out loud and physically become ill at the same time. I’m sure Glen was HORRIFIED! He was probably like Dear God, please don’t let anyone walk in and think I had anything to do with this. I sooo don’t want to go to jail right now. I honestly can’t remember what he said when we were done, “Uhhh thanks?” I just pray to God that he has completely blocked those images from his mind.
Happy Birthday, Britt! Thanks for all the adventures. I love you!!