So in a previous post, I talked about the household where dysfunction runs rampant, aka the house where my grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle and mother reside. Apparently my grandma got wind of the post (only wind, she did not actually read the post) and was like, “Why would she write about us?” Why? I mean the answer to that question is pretty obvious, right? Because it’s good material! Yes, there may be a time where I have to draw the line and keep certain pieces of information to myself, but I’m going to lay a lot of other shit on the table. My intention is not to hurt anyone’s feelings. I will not be malicious. I’m simply providing entertainment for the masses; entertainment for the 50 people that read this blog.
Now, having said all that, just a few short days later my grandma came into my work and tried to sell me her shoes. Yes, the shoes that were currently on her two feet. No, she didn’t offer to give them to me. No, she asked if I wanted to buy them from her. My grandma is a very generous lady and probably saved my siblings and me from sleeping on the streets much of our lives when we were younger, but she will not hesitate to hand you something like she’s giving it to you and mention how much she paid at the same time. Like, “I thought you’d like this cute top I found at the thrift store. It was only $3.” Which makes you wonder, should I pay her for this? It makes things very confusing. She’s so entertaining.
Also entertaining was the waiter at the restaurant last week that came by our table and asked, “How is everything tasting?” Which would have been a normal question had we already been served our food. Rob and I just looked at each other and then I said, “Umm… well, I’m not really sure yet since we don’t have any food.” That waiter just totally blew his cover. We thought he looked like an alien, but now we KNOW he’s an alien.
Oh, and Rob farted so loud in his sleep the other night that it woke him up and he shouted, “What was that?!” He makes me smile even at 3:00am.
Oh my god! I soooo know about the “buying you stuff and then telling you how much it costs” thing…so grandma. She needed a certain size of frying pan recently, but had to buy a three pack. So she kept calling me wondering if I needed frying pans. I finally relented and said, “sure.” True to herself, grandma proceeded to call me continuously about how they were $7, and I could pay her “if I wanted to, but I don’t have to.” Yet, she still told me about a dozen times how much the set cost, reasurring me each time that I didn’t HAVE to pay her, but they were $7, just in case. So classic…needless to say, I paid her, and she graciously accepted. HA!
FYI, my mom read your last blog and was soooo “offended” that she sounded like such a bitch! I shrugged my shoulders and said, “well…….”
Love you Sonie!
Yes, your mom told me she read it. People are too sensitive. 🙂
seriously…giggling about the shoes. i would buy them off of her just so i could tell people that grandma tried to sell me her shoes! such a great story.
will she let me buy her shoes?? classic!!!!!
She would love it if you bought her shoes! This woman is seriously amazing, isn’t she?
I love your family stories! We are family so I can say this: but we’re all frickin crazy in our own way! You’ve inspired me to start a blog about my dating trials and errors and mishaps and disappointments…sigh…not all of us can have the love of our lives wake us with bodily noises at 3 am…laughing my ass off! Love ya! Thanks for the post! Keep em coming they make my day! =-)
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