Dear Cookies, leave me alone

It might seem strange that the title of this blog is me talking to cookies.  What, you don’t think cookies are alive?  Well, then why can I hear them calling to me day after day after fucking day?  This is not in my head people!  They are talking to me… loudly talking to me.  It usually goes something like this:  I have my healthy lunch full of green leafy vegetables, whole grains and beans.  And I’m like I am a freaking rockstar eater!  Two hours later the cookies are like, “You need a snack.  Sugar would be good.  You should eat a cookie!  That’s why we’re here, right?”

You see, I would really like to look like a hottie for my upcoming vacation to Mexico, but the cookies are totally ruining this for me. Only making it to the gym like three times a week probably isn’t helping either.  I need to get my fit on, people!  Today instead of going to the gym, however, I went to the mall.  And as I was feeling guilty walking out, two of those mall walker people cut right in front of me.  Excuse me, but I thought mall walkers only did their walking before the mall opened.

Oh, and on top of my cookie/infrequent gym routine, the Oprah show ended.  Yes, this has nothing to do with the rest of this post. But what a bummer, right?!

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