I booked a massage today for a few reasons: 1) I got it on Groupon for a steal, 2) I adore massages and 3) I thought it would be a good anti-anxiety activity (see previous blog). Upon entering the parking lot, I was immediately turned off. It was really dirty and not at all maintained, which seemed odd for a spa that normally charges $80 for a 1-hour massage. It wasn’t enough of a turn-off to not go in though. I mean I had paid $35. So in I walked. The lobby was a little less than really nice, but it wasn’t terrible. The receptionist (who also looked a little unkept) greeted me and told me someone would be right out. And right out he was. Enter the ex-con dude.
Listen, I know all of this is about to sound super duper judgmental, but hear me out. When getting a massage, it’s important to feel comfortable with the person that is about to touch your naked body for a full hour. No, you’re not going to be BFF’s right away, but you really want to feel like this person is competent and not a creeper in the least. Part of that feeling, I’m sorry to say, comes from their appearance. This guy’s appearance (damn, I wish I could remember his name!) was very ex-con/white trash/creeper like. He had on a ratty t-shirt, low-riding jean shorts and unlaced tennis shoes unaccompanied by some prison-looking tattoos (I know, there is nothing wrong with tattoos, but it just added to the whole ensemble). Maybe even if he was dressed in a tux, I would have gotten the eebie jeebies. I do believe in intuition, after all.
I immediately thought about lying there on the table with this dude touching me and I wanted to throw up in my mouth. I mean I really had a not-so-good feeling. I proceeded to fill out the form hoping that maybe he was just the guy that handled the paper work. When he came back though he was like, “So where would you like me to focus?” And that’s when I knew I had to leave. So after answering questions like, “Do you have any lacerations I need to know about” (lacerations?!), I told a big fat lie and said, “I need to grab something out of my car.” Only instead of grabbing something out of my car, I got in and drove like hell straight out of the parking lot.
Obviously my anxiety level went up rather than down, but you know what, that’s OK. I’m feeling really good about my decision right now. I mean even if Mr. Creeper was legit, there is no way I would have ever been able to relax. Note to self: Pay the big bucks for the spas and massage therapists you know and trust. It’s worth every penny.
Oh and so that all of you Utahns can avoid this place, it’s called A New Day Spa and is located on Highland Drive.