Over the summer Rob and I noticed a sign posted to a street pole in an adjacent neighborhood about a missing bird. The reaction we both had was nothing like the reaction we have when we see a sign for a missing dog. A missing dog is sad. A missing bird is… weird. So many questions come to mind when I try to figure out the logistics of finding and returning a missing bird. First, there are so many birds flying around. Flying, I believe, is the key word here. If the bird had their wings clipped, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be missing. So I’m assuming it can fly. Which means you’re not going to get a good look most of the time. So you might be thinking, hey, that bird kind of looked like the bird from the poster. But what if it was the bird from the poster? Are you supposed to try to capture it? Do you know how mean birds are? I swear to God, I would rather be in a cage with a tiger than some batt shit crazy bird. Those bastards are not nice and will not think twice about pecking your eyes out.
Anyway, the point is you can’t really capture it, right? So should you call the number on the poster and be like, “Hi, I think maybe I saw your bird in my backyard. Yeah, but then it flew away.” These are legitimate questions, people.
The really bizarre thing is that I saw another poster just yesterday for a missing parrot. What is going on? Why is everyone’s bird trying to get the hell out of dodge? Oh, that’s right, because they’re tired of being kept in a cage! There’s a good chance word has gotten out to these birds that there are worms all over outside! Worms! Oh, and people have fruit trees you can hang out on all day long while you taunt their cats. Let me see… cage or freedom and worms?