Tag Archives: Cat

Poop Talk

At our house we talk about poop.  Some people are very private about stuff like that, but Rob and I are all like, “How was your poop this morning?”  We talk about the quality of our poop and our dog’s poop; if he pooped, what he pooped on and if it was a decent poop.  Jack, the dog, not Rob.  Having a good quality bowel movement everyday is important.  For everyone.  You can google it if you don’t believe me.

When Jack doesn’t drop a turd on a walk we’re all concerned.  Rob will come home and look all worried as he says, “Well, that was weird.  He didn’t poop.”  On his afternoon walk it’s common for him to do what we like to call a “double pooper.” Meaning he goes twice.  And listen, the second one is never good.  It’s always a runny mess.

Today, Jack tried to wrap up his poop before he was actually done which means that a couple of extra pieces dropped out after he had left the squatting position.  And do you know what he did when he saw those little nuggets drop out onto the sidewalk? He ate them.  He seriously ate them.  I seriously threw up in my mouth. Unfortunately, there was yet another turd that hadn’t made its way to the ground. Instead it had become what we refer to as a “dangler.”  It was stuck in his butt beard.  It’s more of a butt mustache, really, but the point is that there was a piece of crap stuck in it.  He just kept sitting down and looking at me, and I was like, “What am I supposed to do?”

Because I am a good mom though, I tried to use the end of the poop bag to brush it off.  It worked eventually, but I did not like doing it. The little dude needs to make a clean break next time.  I am not interested in cleaning up butt mustache danglers.

Now, seeing Jack poop is a daily thing.  The cat, however, that’s a much more private matter.  I mean I clean up all of her poop out of the litter box several days a week, but I don’t watch her in the act.  The other day I walked in on her in her litter box and I honestly apologized.  It was so awkward that I was like, “Oh, sorry.  I didn’t know you were in here.”  Cats are different about stuff like that, I just know it.


HUGE steps have been made the last couple of days with Jack and Kitty.  I know, you’ve been dying to know how things are shaping up between the two of them. Well, they are shaping up nicely.  The cat still acts a little scared at times, but for the most part she does a lot of purring when she’s around him.  Jack has been giving all kinds of kisses.  I think maybe he’s trying to clean her up a bit (she tends to leave a lot of litter on herself).  The butthole licking is a bit too much, but I’m just so happy they’re becoming friends.  Now they don’t sit and stare at each other the entire time but can spend time just chilling next to each other.  Look how cute they are!  Oh, and notice his back leg that is a little elevated.  He’s doing his morning yoga, I guess.

The Cat Drama Continues

Remember the whole cat fiasco?  If not, you can find it here.  In addition to the vet’s office robbing us, they also neglected to apprise us of the possible side effects of steroid injections. Shortly after the steroid shot I noticed that Kitty’s litter box seemed to be filling up much quicker than normal.  Much quicker as in it looked as if she was peeing and pooping all day long.  She was also eating every morsel of her food and drinking every drop of her water.  When she was finished pigging out, she would move her food and water dishes around making it look as if she got pissed when she realized it was all gone and started throwing them.  Yes, side effects include, but are not limited to, increased thirst, appetite, urination and aggression.

So not only has this little creature cost us a shit ton of money, but she’s now costing me a shit ton of time.  I am cleaning the litter box almost every single god damn day.  And it’s not like I just have to clean out the box itself.  I also have to sweep up all the litter that she has managed to throw out of the box onto the floor.

Oh, and litter is now all over our house.  Now that she spends a large portion of her day in the litter box, she leaves traces of litter wherever she lays.  Luckily she’s not allowed on the upstairs furniture.

She’s allowed pretty much everywhere else though.  Last night she was laying on Rob’s lap and I noticed little pieces of litter all over his leg.  Then I noticed wet spots on the couch and realized she was drooling like a son of a bitch.  God, steroids and old age do not look good on her.

Here she is not in the litter box, clearly not wanting her photo taken.


I have officially been free of the retail world for one whole week.  Well, not free of the retail world; free of working in the retail world. BIG difference!  Today I actually spent lots of time in that world when I took part in the H&M grand opening.  Yep, I was one of those bat shit crazy people that stood in the cold for hours.  And other than my hips freezing up and the frostbite on the tip of my nose, it was totally fun.

Besides standing in really, really long lines, I haven’t had much down time since the “whole” transition.  (Sorry, that was only funny if you knew my retail job was with Whole Foods Market).  I made a quick trip to New Jersey for a training gig, ordered my Thanksgiving turkey and even managed to get an entire workout in.  Can you believe the craziness of my life?!  Neither can I.

Also crazy is how effing small of a city Salt Lake is.  (I’ve decided to work in effing in place of the real thing once in awhile to mix things up).  Listen to this…. Last weekend I was on Facebook and saw a picture Emily, my stepdaughter, had posted. The person in the photo looked familiar so I clicked on it and was like, “Holy shit, no fucking way!”  (Back to the real thing again).  The dude in the picture was none other than my best friend’s little brother!  The little brother that I spent my childhood with torturing and making play the Sweet Valley High board game because we really needed someone to be Ingrid.  And now he’s hanging out with Em! Seriously freaky, people!  Neither of them had any idea until I was like, “Uhhh are you hanging out with Jordan?”  It’s a little strange, but Britt and I decided if they get married one day we’ll be related, which would be AWESOME!  Then we could officially be sisters!

Always thinking of myself.

Other news is that our cat has feline asthma.  Of course it cost us $340 for them to tell us this.  Our vet visit went like this:

Vet:  It might be asthma but I really need to take an x-ray to figure it out ($80)

An hour later….

Yeah, it looks like feline asthma as you can see here, blah, blah blah.  I’m a little concerned with the shape of her heart though so we should probably have a radiologist look at the x-ray ($120)

I have no idea how this all added up to $340 now that I think about it, but the bottom line is I’m pretty sure we got ripped off.  Her heart, of course, was fine.  So Rob took her in for a shot.  He asked for the long acting one, which they told him they gave her.  Then, two days later the vet calls me to check up on Kitty (yeah, she doesn’t really have a name) and is like, “I just gave her the intermediate one because I was still a little concerned with her heart.”  Which is exactly when I called bull shit!

I am happy her heart is OK.  Especially since that means she most likely won’t die of heart failure when we bring a dog home.  If we ever bring a dog home.  Talk to Rob about that one.