So I’m on the hunt for a new job. I’m not sure what that perfect job is just yet. I know, I know, there is no perfect job. It’s important to find the right fit though, ya know? I have done lots of things since entering the workforce 20 years ago. I’ve done the big corporate thing and traveled all over delivering various types of training courses. I’ve tried my hand in the non-profit world and in smaller businesses. Marketing was my thing for about 4 years. And the weird (or maybe sad) thing is I’m pretty decent at all of these things, but I still am not really sure what my “thing” is. I love nutrition, but I don’t have a nutrition degree. So should I go back to school? Ugh. I’m 35 years old and I’m still clueless about my life!
I have to say that looking for a job is somewhat entertaining though. I mean it’s annoying, but the titles that these companies come up with for their open positions are VERY VERY funny. For example, a Nutrition Aide sounds decent, right? It’s not. It’s actually a cafeteria lady. Yep. And a lot of them include the word Specialist to make it sound more appealing. It usually turns out to be very un-special however. Like “Experience Specialist” which is code for talking on the phone all day to upset customers. Which, yes, would be an experience. A shitty one.
Michael Pollan who is like THE foodie intellectual today said (when talking about how to eat), “Eat food. Not too much of it.” And I think that same type of thinking should apply to working. Work hard. Not too much. I mean that seems like a good plan. Find something you love and do it, but not so much that you end up hating it. Not so much that you don’t do anything else. I know that may sound like a very liberal view to my fellow Americans since we live in a country that is all about working lots of hours. People are so proud to be like, “I’m so busy! I’ve been working like 60 hours a week.” That is so sad to me and not even remotely impressive. I like the guy or gal that works smart and has figured out a way to live with less so they don’t have to devote every waking second to earning more money. Those are the people that impress the shit out of me.
So, the job hunt will continue. I’m sure I’ll find something. And one day I hope to be doing something that I really love and impressing the pants off of every single one of you. Bam!
Wow, it’s been close to a year since I last wrote a blog post. And you know what? That makes me sad. Like not just, oh bummer but like wow, is this really how much time has passed? Is life really passing me by (yes) and before I know it I’m going to be an old lady saying, “Where did the time go?” Yeah, I know, everyone says that. Where does the time go! Has it really been that long? It feels like just yesterday that… But I mean I’m legitimately concerned.
Life is hard. Or is it that we make it hard? No, things happen that make it hard. We lose people we love, relationships end or take a turn that leaves people feeling hurt and unwanted, we have to work when we want to play. The list goes on, right? But for so long now I’ve been saying, to myself and out loud to those who will listen, that I don’t want that to be my life anymore. I don’t want to feel like I’m drowning, like I don’t have time for the things or people I love. I don’t want to schedule in fun time. Honestly, sometimes I find myself thinking, okay, I have two hours to have fun and then I must get something else done. What is that? It’s just me, partially, yes. But it’s also that I feel like if I’m not getting something done I’m not contributing. I’m not doing my part. And things need to get done dammit! I’m also drowning. My life balance has been thrown off with job changes and not quite figuring out how to get it all in.
I lost my niece a little over 8 months ago. If you’ve followed this blog before, you may remember me talking about her several times. Like here. There are like a million other places I blogged about her but I’m too lazy to link them all. Of course I am not my sister. Stevie was not my child. She was like a child to me though. She was a big purpose in my life though. Helping her, helping my sister gave me so much purpose in my life. Was it easy? No. Was it the best thing I’ve ever done? Yes. I miss her everyday. She reminds me that life is short. As a friend said the other day, “We are living on borrowed time.” And yet, do I really live like I’m on borrowed time? Not as much as I should. Not as much as Stevie would want.
So what am I saying? I don’t know, really. Maybe I do but I haven’t written in so long that I can’t figure out how to put it all into words. I do know that I need to figure it out really soon though.