So I’m a shitty blogger lately. There, I said it. I just haven’t been inspired to write, I suppose. Maybe my life’s too boring? Or maybe I just haven’t been keeping track of all the weird things that I observe in any given day. Whatever the reason, I need to get my shit together. My brother got me this great book on writing for my birthday in March and the biggest tip to becoming a better writer is simply DO IT! So, I’m doing it.
The last thing I wrote about was my (yet to be announced) brilliant idea of how we’re going to survive in this god forsaken world. I still have no concrete plan, but don’t give up on me. Some things are in the works. If I can ever get my husband, whom I rarely see anymore, to stop working, stuff is going to happen. And until that stuff happens, I’ll enjoy the other stuff that goes on around me.
Like yesterday, I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my fam for Mother’s Day. This is pretty much the only day of the year that we can talk my older sister into doing a shot. And seeing her do a shot is great entertainment. Usually because part of it ends up coming out of her mouth as a slow drool. Equally as entertaining is her husband that is, for some odd reason, obsessed with talking about marijuana. Which is strange considering he’s only smoked it once and had a terrible reaction that left him feeling like he was walking on the moon (his words, not mine). Despite being “messed up” from this one pot smoking experience, he talks about it constantly. As in, “does this dessert have marijuana in it?” By the way, the dessert was not brownies.
Nearly every single time my family gets together I wonder why in the hell there aren’t cameras rolling. We would make AMAZING reality television. I’m telling you; it’s good material almost all the time. The character lineup is unreal. We have rednecks, people that talk to themselves, children that are beyond difficult, martyrs, negative nellies and so so much more.
I think soon I’ll have to post some video of just how hilarious we are. So don’t give up on my blog just yet. There are epic posts to come.
So there’s this blog I follow that is incredibly successful. The blogger lives here in Salt Lake and has made quite a living from it all. And you know what? I’m OK with that. I mean I’m jealous, but I’m OK with it. Lots of people so aren’t though. It’s like people are so angry that she has made such a killing from simply writing about her life. And I’m like, uh what’s wrong with that? I mean if it works, don’t be mad that you didn’t think of it first. Don’t be such a hater because you sit in a cubicle for 8 hours a day. Today she posted a link to all of these hater comments and I was absolutely stunned at how mean people can be! Who are these people? I know you have to develop a really thick skin when you’re doing anything that is open to criticism (like blogging), but holy shit! Hey meanies, settle the fuck down!
There are other things to worry about in life besides how people are spending their time or making a living. Like how my dog is a fear biter. You know how much I love my dog by now, I’m sure. He’s been featured here, here, here, here, here and all over here. I mean the little guy is seriously the love of my life. I have such high anxiety about the fact that he wants to nip at people’s legs because he’s a nervous norman though. That’s what I worry about. Don’t worry though, we have roped some friends into risking their legs so we can teach him properly. It’s weird that people actually say yes when Rob and I are like, “Hey do you want to come over for a beer and a bite from our dog?”
Another thing to worry about is the fact that 8 year olds are now texting while riding their bikes. Yep, that’s what happened in front of my house yesterday. Some elementary school kid riding his bike, not looking or steering, but texting like a mad man. Oh, and there was totally a medical incident with some of my tweaker neighbors last weekend. Since I’m pretty much a detective, I have decided that it was somehow drug-related. Listen, four cop cars don’t typically show up alongside the ambulance and then hang out talking on the lawn for a really long time if it’s just a regular ol’ medical emergency. I’m all over it!