Tag Archives: Text messaging

Stop the Hate

So there’s this blog I follow that is incredibly successful.  The blogger lives here in Salt Lake and has made quite a living from it all. And you know what?  I’m OK with that.  I mean I’m jealous, but I’m OK with it.  Lots of people so aren’t though.  It’s like people are so angry that she has made such a killing from simply writing about her life.  And I’m like, uh what’s wrong with that?  I mean if it works, don’t be mad that you didn’t think of it first.  Don’t be such a hater because you sit in a cubicle for 8 hours a day.  Today she posted a link to all of these hater comments and I was absolutely stunned at how mean people can be!  Who are these people?  I know you have to develop a really thick skin when you’re doing anything that is open to criticism (like blogging), but holy shit!  Hey meanies, settle the fuck down!

There are other things to worry about in life besides how people are spending their time or making a living.  Like how my dog is a fear biter.  You know how much I love my dog by now, I’m sure.  He’s been featured here, here, here, here, here and all over here.  I mean the little guy is seriously the love of my life.  I have such high anxiety about the fact that he wants to nip at people’s legs because he’s a nervous norman though.  That’s what I worry about.  Don’t worry though, we have roped some friends into risking their legs so we can teach him properly.  It’s weird that people actually say yes when Rob and I are like, “Hey do you want to come over for a beer and a bite from our dog?”

Another thing to worry about is the fact that 8 year olds are now texting while riding their bikes.  Yep, that’s what happened in front of my house yesterday.  Some elementary school kid riding his bike, not looking or steering, but texting like a mad man.  Oh, and there was totally a medical incident with some of my tweaker neighbors last weekend.  Since I’m pretty much a detective, I have decided that it was somehow drug-related.  Listen, four cop cars don’t typically show up alongside the ambulance and then hang out talking on the lawn for a really long time if it’s just a regular ol’ medical emergency.  I’m all over it!

Predictive Text Fails

If you use predictive text, you know that it’s not always so predictable.  It tries its best, but sometimes its best isn’t good enough.  Ellen often showcases predictive text fails and they are effing hilarious.  There’s a whole website dedicated to these, and it makes me happy.

Rob’s predictive text is not doing its job at all.  Half the time I can’t even decipher what he’s really trying to say.  Personally I try to proofread my texts before I hit the send button, but Rob obviously doesn’t understand this concept.  Let me give you just a few examples of what he’s texted me in the last couple weeks.

Rob (texting me on a Saturday about playing with Jack): I played ball out back.  I’d their the balks on the roof and he would try and catch then when that can’t down.

Me: Your predictive text made that really hard to understand.

Rob: Oops.  Out basically said Jack and I are having fun.

New text series…

Rob: Hired your day?

Me:  What?

Rob:  Oops.  How’s your day?

Me:  Haha good.  Totally going to write a blog about your predictive text fails.

Rob:  Have you heard from Em?

Me:  No.  How come?

Rob:  Just sovereigns.  Getting a little worried.

Me:  Just sovereigns?  Dude, read back your texts.

One time we were babysitting for my sister overnight.  Stevie, our niece, woke up at 3:00am.  I went downstairs even though the nurse was still there because she was screaming at the top of her lungs, “AUNT SOOOONIE!”  Anyway, I had set an alarm on my phone for 4:55am to head down there when the nurse left but forgot to turn it off.  Rob couldn’t figure out how to turn it off and ended up calling my sister.  He quickly realized what he’d done so he hung up.  She texted my phone to see if everything was OK though.  Rob sent back a text that looked like it was written by a first grader.  Good lord!

Oh, and as I was typing up this blog, here’s what he sent me.

Rob: It’s margo and rita day so let’s mix in a catchall.

Me:  Huh?

Rob:  Margarita

I’m assuming catchall is cocktail?  Get it together man!

Hope for All

Remember my mother’s shitty texting?  If not, you can read all about it here.  I would like to report that my mom has worked very hard and is now texting whole sentences.  Plus, she’s using a crazy amount of punctuation!  Previously her response to my text would be, “K”  Now, she’s like, “Ok!”  The full sentences (like multiple sentences in one text) are blowing my mind.  I am over-the-top impressed. If you feel like you’ve lost all hope for a loved one with texting dysfunction, don’t give up.

Christmas is the season of perpetual hope, right?  That’s what the mom on “Home Alone” said anyway.  Is it sad that I still love that movie?  I was so stoked when Stevie wanted to watch it.  She probably quickly regretted it when she realized I still know every line and before every scene I’m like, “Oh, this is a good part.  This is so funny what he does to the the bad guys.”  As a child my dad got really mad at me when I insisted on saying every line right before the character on the movie said it. I couldn’t help that my memory was amazing.

Anyway, back to the hope thing.  Here are the items currently on my “hope” list (in no particular order).  I hope:

1. that the air will clear up so that it’s possible to breathe when taking my dog for a walk

2. that Jack and Kitty can figure out how to live in the same house (not on separate floors)

3. that my sister and her husband can go on a date soon (yes, I’ll babysit!)

4.that Stevie will have better health in the coming year

5. that there will be world peace… ok, this one is a long shot

I’m sure there are more “hopes” on my list, but I don’t want to sound hopey.  Get it?  Like needy but with hope?  Terrible, I know.  Well, here’s hoping (or would it be wishing?) you all a happy holiday season!

October Ramblings

Have you noticed how shitty I am about writing blogs?  Do you see why I need to make changes in my life so that I have time to write blogs?  Please send an email to my husband letting him know that if this blog is ever going to turn into something, changes must be made.  His email address is…  Never mind.  I’m pretty sure he doesn’t respond to emails.  Or text messages for that matter.  What is it about certain people and text messaging anyway?  My mother, for example, is the world’s worst texter.  I’m almost positive she has never texted me anything longer than 4 letters.  Like recently I sent her a text asking if she could feed our cat for a couple of days while we’re out of town. She is a great cat-sitter.   Shitty texter though.  Her response was “sure.” I added the period for grammatical reasons, but she did not. Now, “sure” is not a terrible answer, but I would have done something like, “Sure, no problem!”  I always think it’s important to use lots of punctuation and happy words in texts and emails so that people are sure of your tone.  I mean unless of course you are trying to tell them you hate them.

Anyway, I then figured out we only needed her to feed the cat one day, so I sent her another text (perhaps I suck at calling?) telling her that.  Her response this time was, “fine.”  Again, no punctuation.  I know she didn’t intend for her response to sound mean, but “fine” sounds so mean, right?  Like, “Fine, I guess.  I really don’t want to feed your stupid cat, but I will if I have to.”  I’ll have to work on this with her.  Mom, if you’re reading this, I can help you.

In addition to people that are less-than-stellar texters, I know you won’t be surprised to know that I’m unhappy with the weather today.  I know, I know, I always talk about the weather and how it is not to my liking.  I’m just saying that it’s pretty lame when I have to turn on my seat warmers (thank God for seat warmers!) on October 5th.  Why did I have to turn on my seat warmers? Because it’s fucking cold. How cold?  Less than 40 degrees cold.  My car does this thing when it hits 39 degrees or below where it dings and has a picture of a snowflake next to the temperature reading.  It totally pisses me off.  It’s not a mean ding but quite a dainty chime if you will.  It still pisses me off.  GIANT snowflakes fell today!  Look at this picture of the mountains.

I saw three different accidents in a 15 minute drive this afternoon.  I’m sure it wasn’t just because of the snow.  It could have also been because of the “severe dropoff.”  Yep, that’s what a sign said on the freeway when I was driving.  Holy scare tactic!  Severe dropoff?  Like, “Drive careful or you will fall hundreds of feet to your death.”  Road construction in Utah is seriously awesome.

Oh, and as a final rambling, I’d like to put a call to action out there to all you keyboard users.  I mean computer keyboard users.  If you have one and use it, CLEAN IT ONCE IN AWHILE!  We had an office cleanup at work and I was horrified by the state of people’s keyboards.  How can people actually feel OK about typing on a keyboard with six years of food dried to it?  It’s unhealthy and wrong.