Remember me mentioning that it’s been cold as shit in Utah? Well, it’s still cold as shit. It’s the big topic of discussion ’round this place lately. And for good reason. The air sucks and we’re hitting record lows. When the high temperature is a record low people start to get pissed.
I decided to put together a Top 10 list called “You Know It’s (stupid) Cold When…” Here’s what I’ve come up with. Feel free to chime in with yours.
- People are talking about the weather not because they are trying to make small talk but because they are genuinely concerned (and pissed) about the arctic temps.
- You say out loud at least 15 times per day, “Oh my god, it’s cold.” Or any version of that phrase ranging from, “Do not go out there. It’s too cold” to “It’s fucking cold outside!”
- You warm up your car even when it’s been parked in the garage all night.
- Your animals, who generally love being outside, step out and look back at you like, “You’re fucking kidding me, right? You expect me to poop in 6 degree weather?”
- Anytime you have to step outside for more than 10 seconds you sprint to do whatever it is you have to do. Again, have to. If you don’t have to go out, you won’t.
- You leave your coat on to eat dinner because you still haven’t warmed up enough after being outside for 30 seconds.
- You sleep in a hoodie, sweatpants and socks and that’s with the three extra blankets on your bed.
- Even the meteorologists have started voicing their opinion on the matter. Instead of staying professional and giving the weather report matter-of-fact they’re like, “Well, it’s still miserable out there and will continue to be. There’s just no good weather news to report, folks.” Great.
- You heat up your microwave corn bag an average of 10 times per day. Is this just me? Ok, I do have a bit of an addiction to those things, but try one and you’ll see exactly why.
- You become obsessed with checking the temperature multiple times a day and then loudly let everyone know the current reading so that everyone can sigh and moan together.
I’m telling you, it sucks here right now. Mexico anyone?