Tag Archives: salt lake city

I Need a New Joke

So I’m (finally) getting ready to travel again for work.  I have two gigs in March and two in April, so I’m starting to prepare.  Which means that I have a few calls with the client and folks that I work with in coordinating the gigs and then I get to work on making notes and delivering the course in my living room multiple times until I think I have it down.  In other words, I do a whole lot of talking to myself as I click through the slides and pretend like there are 40 people in front of me.

I always like to crack some kind of joke in the intro I give about myself to set a fun, non-stuffy mood (especially important when you’re training pharmaceutical big wigs).  My regular routine sounds something like this, “I’m based out of Salt Lake City, Utah (pause) No, I’m not a polygamist.”  Normally I get a good laugh, but at the course I taught in Basel, Switzerland, I got feedback on one of the evaluations about it.  The person wrote that the joke was “in bad taste and not necessary.” They then went on to ask if I said it for shock value.  Shock value?  Listen, if I wanted to add shock value I would at least get an F bomb in there.

I know that was only one lame ass person, but now I feel like I need a new joke.  I thought about saying something about my daily commute being by horse (since someone once asked if I traveled by horse – obviously, they don’t know anything about SLC), but these gigs are in Wyoming.  So… they may actually travel by horse.

Give me your best Utah jokes, people.  I have no problem pretending like I came up with it myself.  If it’s a hit though, I will most definitely give you credit right here on this near-famous (wink wink) blog.

Advertisements

It’s Me Against the Ice

The freezing rain from yesterday is still manifesting itself all over everyone’s driveways and sidewalks.  Which is why I knew I had to come up with a way to fight back.  I couldn’t stand the thought of Jack being cooped up again without an afternoon walk.  Luckily, some brain power kicked in and I remembered Rob and I bought these clamp things last winter for hiking in the snow.  Let’s just say the ice has met it’s match.  I didn’t even come close to wiping out once. Neener neener neener!

Who's tough now?

Who’s tough now?

Witnessing Stupidity

In my last entry I talked about the horrendous air we’re breathing here in Salt Lake. It’s so bad that there is no way every single person living here could not know about it.  And know how bad it is to breathe it in for long periods of time (short periods of time, actually).  Yet I’ve witnessed people jogging (one in a t-shirt and shorts) on almost a daily basis.

The best eyewitness account though?  A dude was out riding a stationary bike on State Street as a form of advertising for an exercise equipment store.  It was like the manager said, “You know what, swinging a sign around is just not enough.  Let’s have him ride one of the bikes we want to sell in this toxic, freezing air.  Yeah, that’s just what we’ll do.”  When that guy gets lung cancer he should totally sue.

Forecast

A good part of yesterday afternoon and last night I had a headache from hell.  I’ve been getting these headaches, I think, because of the terrible air we all have to breathe here in Salt Lake.  It got so bad last night that there were several times I thought I’d blow chunks.  And I really didn’t want to blow chunks.  For a couple of reasons.  First, vomiting is not my thing.  Second, I’d just had grilled fish tacos and I was like, that is not going to be good when it comes back up.  Luckily I never hurled. I went to bed at like 9:00pm instead.

Look at this forecast description and tell me it doesn’t depress the shit out of you.

Patchy fog will once again develop this evening along the Wasatch Front along with freezing fog that will glaze over some of the roadways. Overnight lows will be in the single digits with highs in the valleys stuck in the 20s. Above the inversion, look for sunshine and warmer temperatures. Highs in the mountains will be in the upper 30s and lows 40s. The overall pattern will hold through the middle to end of next week.

I’m pretty sure we’ll be escaping to higher elevations today so we can catch our breath.  That and thaw out.