Category Archives: travel

Giddy’up!

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I’m sitting here at a Starbucks in Harlingen, Texas.  If you’re not familiar with Harlingen (is anyone?), picture the tip of Texas.  Can you see it in your head?  That’s where I am.  As far south as you can get.  Are you jealous?  I thought so.  There are a lot of big hats and big trucks here (I know, I know, everything is big in Texas).  Oh, and lots of crosses as well as dashboard art.  And since we’re basically on the border, I thought for sure that the cop walking down the side of the freeway was totally involved in a border drug raid.  Unfortunately it was only a fender bender.

This morning as I was leaving the hotel the weather forecast sign simply said, “Hot and humid.”  I’m pretty sure they wanted to follow it with, “Shut up and get used to it.”  I’m definitely not used to this kind of humidity.  I mean I live in one of the driest states ever!  Our freeway signs talk about the danger of wildfires (the whole state is basically on fire).  In Texas they say, “Hurricane season is here.  Be prepared.” Which, I’m totally not.  Prepared, I mean.  Shit, someone tell me what you do in a hurricane.  Besides cry, I mean.

So far everyone has been really nice.  My first training session was full of people that felt so sorry for me.  I told them about all of the driving I was going to do and they got these looks on their faces that said, oh my god, you are going to be miserable. Instead they were like, “Oh wow.  Good luck.  Marble Falls (where I’ll drive today… 5 hours away) is really pretty.” I’ll keep you posted as to whether or not this is true.

Hanging in Bend

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A pic on our anniversary. Happy 8 years to us!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rob and I spent an awesome 5 days in Bend, Oregon this past week.  It was so awesome that I almost forgot about my work trips from hell which start tomorrow. Then I remembered, which sucked.  Bend was so what we needed though.  It’s such an adorable, quaint, adventurous, chill environment that you can’t help but get sucked in.  We were within walking distance to everything… the river, beautiful parks, downtown, the bike shop.  Oh, and my dream house.  If I can come up with another $500,000, I am totally going to buy the place.  Until then, we’ll visit and gawk at it as often as possible.

Bend definitely has a reputation as being a hippie town (for good reason – – we heard/saw at least 4 references to pot smoking within the first hour of our trip), and although I would never consider myself one, I kind of dig their mentality.  It’s like people there get it, ya know?  Like they know what’s important in life (I’m referring to fun and friends, not pot) and have no problem plopping a kitchen table on the front lawn to enjoy dinner with friends.

The kicked back attitude is not necessarily a good thing when you’re entrusting them with your life, but I bet most of the time it works out.  Like take my paddleboarding experience.  We’ve never paddleboarded, but it’s all the rage, so we thought we’d give it a try.  The instruction from our adolescent (dude was like 14) instructor went something like this,

“Stand on the board with your feet by the hand holds.  Try to steer yourself to the left of the river.  You don’t want to go towards the right because there’s a spillway, which is very dangerous.”

That’s it.  So Rob goes first and manages to stay towards the left.  I, on the other hand, hit the eddie and dump it immediately.  The current was pulling me towards danger, and as I was trying to swim to the shore the kid instructor was like, “Ok, I’m going to need you to get the board.”  Seriously dude?  I’m headed towards death (People do die in the spillway.  Ask my cousin, she lives there), and you’re worried about your board?  Luckily the kid decided to get in his kayak and rescue me, which he obviously did because I’m here to write about it.  After I got out he was like, “Well, if you want to try again…”  And I was thinking, Of course I want to try again.  I just paid $40 for 2 hours on this thing.  So off I went.  This time not towards death but towards misery.  Paddleboarding is hard y’all.  We were going against the current, so you could never stop paddling.  About 30 minutes in I just wanted to jump into a tube and float down the river with all the smart people.  I get why people do it; it kicks your ass physically.  I just don’t know that I’ll do it again.

I have a couple of other near death experiences from the trip that I’ll save for a later blog.  Despite them though, I love Bend and could totally see myself living there. Anyone know how I can get my hands on an extra $500,000?!

What’s in Your Suitcase?

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So last week I stayed at a very swanky hotel in New York City.  I stayed there meaning I rolled in about 10:30pm, ate a VERY late dinner and went to bed.  And this place was swanksville.  Like instead of kickin’ it old school with the ‘do not disturb’ paper signs, they had buttons inside the room that when pushed turned on an indicator light outside the room.  Also, the robes were animal print, not your standard white.  Swanky, I know.

Anyway, I’ve seen a number of hotels offer things that guests may have forgotten, such as a toothbrush.  Check out the third item on this list though.  Since when do people take their coffeemakers on trips?  Am I out of the loop or something?  I mean I like my coffeemaker and all, but I’ll stick with the hotel’s brew or Starbucks. Gees!

Oh thank God! I knew I’d forget something.

The Travel Log Begins

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So my insane travel schedule is set to commence in 2 weeks.  However, I am traveling next week (vacation) and I traveled last week (work).  And even a short trip like the one I had last week can really take it out of you.  Especially when you’re traveling to New York City.  Listen, I am not knocking the melting pot.  I get why people love the buzz of a big city.  Personally, however, I want no part of it.  When you jam 7 million people into like 11 square miles or something (I’m probably making this up, but you get the point), it’s bound to get ugly.  I mean it should not take 60-90 minutes to travel 14 miles!  And flying in or out of JFK is kind of a joke. The flight there went fine, but then I had to get a cab.  Uhhh yeah there were roughly 200 people in line in front of me looking to do the exact same thing.  Who knew?!  On the flight home we were delayed by over an hour.  After about 40 minutes of sitting on the runway, the pilot was like, “Hey folks, sorry for the delay. It’s a busy time of night.  Look like we’re number 20 for takeoff.”  Number 20?!  You mean there are 20 planes in front of us?  20 fucking planes?  Sorry, just a little dialogue that took place in my head.

Oh, and just a note to all the flight attendants out there:  Don’t turn on the intercom until you know exactly what you plan to have come out of your mouth. Before the flight took off from SLC, the flight attendant announced (quite casually, I might add), “Could we please have whoever left the infant…”  And then there was like this really long pause which gave me time to think, oh my god, people are just leaving their infants on the jetway now? Of course she finished with, “carrier.  Please come and get it from the jetway.” Phew!

If Life is a Highway…

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Have you ever said yes to something and then the next day you went, what the fuck was I thinking?  If not then you must be a really awesome decision maker.  I recently said yes to something and although I know I’ll get through it, I feel exhausted just thinking about it.  Basically I’m going to be traveling for 4 weeks straight (home on the weekends) starting in mid-July.  Oh, and most of the training I’ll be doing is in the south.  Yeah, in July!

It’s not the heat I’m worried about though.  It’s the crazy amount of driving.  This is a gig I’m doing for a different company, so they are short 1 hour trainings.  I do two a day.  Sounds easy.  Not so much.  Let me just give you a sneak peek at one week of my schedule:

Monday: Arrive in Ohio

Tuesday:  Train in Reynoldsburg, Ohio in the morning and then drive to Columbus for an afternoon session.  Then drive to West Virginia.

Wednesday:  Train in Buckhannon, West Virginia in the morning and then drive to Greensburg, Pennsylvania for an afternoon session.  Then drive to Liverpool, New York.

Thursday:  Train in Liverpool, New York in the morning and then drive to Erie Pennsylvania for an afternoon session.

Holy shit, right?!

If any of you have any good recommendations for books on CD, send them my way. I have a feeling it’s the only thing that will get me through those drives.  That and knowing that it will all be over soon and then I can be home with my family. I also have a feeling I’m going to be doing some motivational self-talking in my head telling myself just that… It will all be over soon, it will all be over soon.  No, you won’t kill anyone if you have to drive one more hour, no you won’t kill anyone if you have to drive one more hour.

Aloha!

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I’ve been traveling the last couple of weeks for work, and I think lack of sleep and recycled air have done me in.  So now I’m home and suffering with a sinus infection. My left cheek and head are pulsating with pain.  Good news is that I dragged my achy body to the doc’s yesterday and now have antibiotics to do some major bacteria ass kicking.

Even better news is that the sinus infection didn’t start until I got home.  I really would have been upset had it all started when I was in HAWAII.  Yes, Hawaii.  I know, it’s rough.  I’ve got to earn money somehow though, right?  Actually it’s usually pretty lonely when I travel (I prefer traveling with a buddy), but the people in Hawaii were so warm and welcoming.  I was lucky enough to extend my trip by a day, so I lounged in the sun and stared at the ocean.  I don’t think that view would ever get old.  As I was training my class, I had a stellar view and am very impressed that I was able to stay focused and not suddenly yell, “I can’t take it anymore, the beach is right there!”

Speaking of the training class, on the first break one of the participants asked me where in Utah I live.  He thought I looked really familiar, and then we realized we were in the same high school graduating class!  How random is that?  And how unfair is it that he lives in Kauai?!

Of course I was sad to leave such a beautiful place, but I definitely prefer being home with my family.  Plus, figuring out how to get in and out of airport bathrooms with luggage gets old fast.  Can someone please help airports redesign their bathroom stalls?  The following is a list of airport bathroom criteria:

1) The stall door must open outwards (try getting a suitcase in and out when it swings inward)

2) The stall must be large enough to accommodate 1 adult and up to 3 bags

3) Hooks must always be on doors for purses and laptop bags (no one wants to consider having to place their bag on the nasty floor)

There’s probably more, but I’ll stop.  Oh and for any of you traveling to Hawaii in the near future, WEAR SUNBLOCK!  I saw so many lobster-colored people and I wanted to yell, “Get the eff out of the sun!”  I like having color as much as the next person, but I prefer it to be closer to brown than bright pink.  Just sayin’.

Here is the view from my hotel room balcony.  Ahhhh.

No Big Whoop

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Last night I had a little pedicure party with the gals I get together with every month. It was time to get my toes worked on and enjoy some food and wine with the ladies. Anyway, my sister was asking for restaurant suggestions in Park City; restaurants where you can get a good steak.  And it reminded me of the good steak I had in Paris last week so I said, “I had the best steak in Paris last week.”  Of course everyone gave me total shit for acting like I’m such a big deal, but I was honestly just remembering the phenomenal steak.  I am kind of a big deal though.  Look what I saw up close and personal!  Hello!

Jet Lagged – Part 2

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I got home from Washington DC late Friday afternoon and had two days to prep for a class I’ve never taught (to senior leaders none the less!) and pack for Paris.  Oh yeah, there were also two birthday parties that weekend, so I really had one day. Holy stress Batman!  I somehow managed to pull it all off, however, and arrived in Paris as scheduled.  The flight there was direct, which is saweeet.  Flying direct is soooo much better than switching planes and dealing with all that passport check bullshit.  I hoped to sleep, but flying for 10 hours in coach is not very conducive to sleeping.  God damn American Express for spoiling me with business class international flights all the time.  How am I supposed to go back to peasant seating?!

I grabbed a taxi at the airport (a Mercedes taxi!) and headed for the hotel.  My hotel was right across from the Arc de Triomphe, which is such an incredible sight and definitely put me in a Paris sightseeing mood.  After checking into the hotel, they handed me my room key which, I swear to God, weighed 10 pounds.  I don’t even think I’m exaggerating.  The key was attached to this massive gold statue-thingy that looked fancy but was absolutely ridiculous.  Hello, haven’t y’all heard of magnetic card keys?  I was like I can barely hold my own head up after no sleep and a massive time difference and now you want me to carry this key?

After letting myself into my room with my ENORMOUS key and unpacking a bit, I decided I should take advantage of the one day I had to see some of Paris.  Plus, I needed something to keep me awake.  So, I did the most touristy thing you can do… The double decker bus tour!  Don’t knock it until you try it though.  It is a GREAT way to see a city.  Plus, you don’t have to move a muscle unless you want to.  You plug in your headphones and the lady tells you everything you’re seeing.  Plus, the Louvre is closed on Tuesdays (yes, I’ve been to Paris twice and the Louvre has been closed both times), so that wasn’t an option.

Here’s a view of the Arc de Triomphe from the top of the bus:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the bus tour, I went back to my room to do more prepping for my class.  At 6:00pm I was hungry so I went downstairs to ask the concierge if there was any place nearby to grab a quick bite.  I have no idea what I was thinking.  This is not how they do things in Europe!  For one, no one eats dinner at 6:00pm in Paris.  8:30pm is the norm.  Two, they don’t have a lot of grab n’ go eating establishments.  The guy told me they could fix me something simple from room service, so I had some bland soup, salad and bread.

I usually adjust well to the time when traveling internationally, but I think the stress I was feeling didn’t allow this to happen, so I logged just a few hours of sleep that night.  It’s a miracle that I was able to form a sentence let alone train a 5 hour course to a bunch of big wigs.  I am the girl who gets 8 hours of sleep every night.  I need it!  The class went really well though, and I was ready to treat myself to a fancy dinner out.  Once again though, I was on an American eating schedule so I arrived at 7:15pm to a restaurant with not one person in it!  The guy working was so friendly though and I enjoyed a delicious glass of red wine, yummy bread, soup and a steak.

I had a couple of hours in the morning to roam around before heading for the airport, so I walked down the Champs Elysees, a very famous street in Paris.  Of course none of the shops were open, but I still felt cool.  Then it was off to the airport where I learned that the French don’t understand the concept of boarding a plane in zones.  Instead they line everyone up like cattle.  Once I got on the plane, there were several assholes in front of me who decided it was alright to take as much time as they needed settling in.  No, no it’s fine.  I mean it’s not like there are TONS OF PEOPLE WAITING TO GET ON BEHIND YOU!

Other than the tweaker behind me, the flight was fine.  Yes, I’m pretty sure he was a tweaker.  I’ve become an expert thanks to my neighbors.  Plus, he was listening to a Disc man! Remember those?  I seriously didn’t think I’d see one again.  So cool! Not cool was the fact that he couldn’t control his tweaker twitches and kicked my seat repeatedly until I turned around very obviously to give him a death stare.

I had a connecting flight in Detroit and only had an hour and a half to catch my plane.  Not long enough!  After standing in a horrendous passport check line, you’re then directed to stand in another line after picking up your luggage (I didn’t even have luggage to pick up since I carried everything on!) to be checked yet again.  For some reason the dude thought it would be beneficial to send me to a third check with a bunch of foreigners who didn’t speak a lick of English.  Seriously, I tried to ask the guy in front of me if I could go ahead of him and he just kept saying, “No English.”  Then, the guy who was up with the security guys was answering a slew of questions about his time in Lebanon before being hauled off to some private room!  I was in a full-on panic because my plane was leaving in 30 minutes and I still  had to go through security.  I felt like screaming, “I’m an American for hell sakes!  Why am I in this line?”  The guy took pity on me when I got up there and said, “Just go, I don’t want you to miss your flight.”  So, after waiting in the security line and running for the tram, I got to the gate 10 minutes before the plane was scheduled to leave.  Only, it wasn’t leaving. Because… there was a lightning storm!

I really didn’t think my life could get any worse at this point.  Three hours later, I was in the air.  That is after multiple times of taxing and then the pilot coming on the speaker and saying, “Sorry, it looks like another storm needs to pass before it’s safe for us to take off.”  This, of course, marked my 24 hour point for waking hours.

Lucky for me I have a wonderful stepdaughter who didn’t care how late it was and was fine picking me up at the airport.  Let’s just say I was happy to be home.

Jet Lagged – Part 1

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After having been from Salt Lake to DC, DC to Salt Lake, Salt Lake to Paris, Paris to Detroit and Detroit to Salt Lake, I have no fucking clue what day or time it is.  Ok, that’s not true.  Salt Lake and DC only have a two hour time difference, but then you add in Daylight Savings and my clock starts to get out of whack.  Add lots of stress and then a quick trip to Paris (seven hour time difference) and it gets ugly. Here’s a sort of play-by-play of the first leg.

Washington DC –

Tuesday, March 7th 9:30am: Fly direct to DC.  Smooth plane ride with the exception of the rotten smelling man sitting directly behind me.  I mean rotten!  It was a mixture of stale cigarettes and pee.

After finding something to smash my nose into I decided I would try to take a little nap (thanks to my husband for the great neck pillow!).  Nap did not happen because rotten dude was obviously having some sort of nicotine fit and kicked my chair repeatedly as he did God knows what.  Wait a second… Why do I always sit by the smelly people?

I was lucky enough to have the seat next to me empty.  I was sitting by the window, however, and the girl on the aisle seat had me climb over her both times I had to get out to pee.  It was very awkward.

4:00pm arrival into Washington DC: Grab a taxi with one of my cohorts and head to the Gaylord National Convention Center/Hotel.  Yes, it’s really called the Gaylord.

4:30pm: Check into hotel.  Make video of self to send to Rob so he can show Jack. You know, “Hi Jack!  Mom misses you!  I love you!”   What?  I don’t want him to forget me.  By the way, Rob said he totally watched it and loved it.  I knew he would.

6:00pm: Meet up with fellow facilitators and CEO to do a “dry run” of the training course.

7:30pm: Meet in one of the many hotel restaurants for dinner.  The Gaylord is seriously its own city!

8:30pm: Head back to room for another practice of the training material by myself, a shower, some reading and an attempt at a full night’s sleep.

Ok, this whole hour-by-hour thing is getting lame.  Let’s do this….

Wednesday, March 8th:

Breakfast, set-up training rooms, watch CEO give keynote, lunch, train 3 hour training session, meet up for debrief and birthday celebration for cohort, retire to rooms to change and recoup, meet up for drinks and stay up way too late talking.

Thursday, March 9th:

Wake up at the butt crack of dawn to catch a taxi to the airport.  Fly home on a miniature plane, which ends up having a broken seat.  Delta sends maintenance dude in to fix the broken seat, delaying us.  When we arrive at JFK (connecting flight), we have to walk down precarious steps rather than a jetway and then through a series of tunnels before arriving in the airport.  The whole time I’m wondering why in the hell my flight cost $700?!

Made connecting flight which took me safely home where I was greeted by the world’s cutest dog.

This trip home was very short lived.  Stay tuned for Part 2 where I am awake for 24 straight hours, am nearly detained at passport check and have to endure a major tweaker seated right behind me for an 8.5 hour flight.

Au Paris

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Things just got really crazy in my life.  At least for the next couple of weeks.  I knew that there would be a lot of travel coming up with work, which is a good thing, but I totally didn’t expect to be flying to Paris in a week and a half (two days after I get home from DC).  Don’t be jealous.  I will be by myself, so I doubt I’ll dare do too much venturing out.  Plus, I won’t have a lot of time.  I have been to Paris once before, but it was a quick stop on a backpacking trip.  It went something like this:

Five girls in their early 20’s arrive by train.

We are immediately lost and no one wants to help us.  In fact, I’m pretty sure they actually pretended not to know English.

We finally arrive at our hostel, which is not so fittingly named ‘The Love and Peace Hostel.’  The entire time we were there we felt no love and definitely no peace.  In fact, drunk people crawled in and out of the window all night over our beds.

The evening we decided to venture out to the Eiffel Tower, we got lost on the way home.  We ended up in a stereotypical dark alley and are thankful to be alive today.

The Louvre was closed.

While traveling on the Metro, my best friend used what little French she knew to make friends with two random dudes.  One of the girls we were backpacking with had fallen off another train (another blog) and twisted her ankle, so one of the guys offered to give us a cane he had at his apartment.  Being really intelligent and worldly, we followed him.  Britt (my best friend), who was the most intelligent of all of us followed him up the stairs to his nasty, scary apartment where he proceeded to give her a big french kiss.  No pun intended.

That’s pretty much what I remember from Paris.  Oh, and I think the crepes were really good.  Well, bon voyage!  Oh wait, that’s what you would say to me, right?  I am not prepared for this.